I am 30 years old. At 20 years old I had a laundry list of successes that I told God, that needed to be accomplished by the time I was 30.
Married by 22, Kids by 25, release a certain amount of albums by the time I was 28…and this list can go on for several paragraphs.
But when you surrender your life to Christ, you have to die to your vision, and see your life through the eyes of Christ. I truly thought I’d done this, until this past weekend. I sat again through a Christine Caine sermon and just thought, “WOW, I have totally missed it.” I’d attached so many expiration dates to the goals and dreams I’d set for myself that God has had very little room to work in me without my OCD, control freak kicking in.
Oh yea… I am super OCD, ask my friends. ( this could be a blog all in itself. )
I have spent the last 30 years with false expectations, and now I am gaining a better understanding of really dying to myself, to my goals, to my dreams, and to my agendas. My mom has always told me that God gave me my dreams, why would He not want to fulfill them? Well mom, cause I have duck-taped some agenda, and pride, and ego to the purity of the dream. So here I am ripping it off like a band-aid.
So have at it God, I am done trying to make you fit into my mold, I just want to fit into whatever you have for me and do it with a pure heart.