Ps. Stovall did a message series back in the day called Suffer Well. It was awesome, but if I learned anything during that series, it was that I do not suffer well. Flash forward a couple years later and I have found myself in the midst of a season where I am again being tested in this. And if I’ve learned anything ( especially today ) it’s that I still do not suffer well.
Nope, not at all.
I roll my eyes, I do a whole lot of sighing, I cut off people I love and if I can be completely honest, hope at moments dissipates through my fingers like sand. See, in the last two weeks dreams that were impossible now are even more impossible and my humanity is outraged. Though my spirit longs for peace, every part of my Egypt watches and awaits for me to slip. I can hear my default settings calling my name from the sidelines…
“you totally deserve a drink…”
“you deserve a whole day watching netflix…shut out the world, they’d understand.”
“this IS so unfair, you have every right to be mad at God…”
I don’t drink anymore, it’s not an option.
All I want to do is read my Bible. As I watch my day spiral out of my control in slow motion everything in me wants to hide under my desk and read Psalms 27 over and over again because every time I do hope springs up within my heart.
Truth is…God never said life would be fair, but He did say He would be with me….and that’s enough.
So yea..I don’t suffer well. Actually, I am a professional at suffering all wrong and with a bit of an attitude! So…why do I share all this? I don’t know…maybe because someone out there might be feeling bad about not walking things out like “the best Christian ever.” If that’s you, don’t beat yourself up…there was only one “best Christian ever..” His name was Jesus. Yep…
I’ll leave you with the best advice I heard this week…
“Don’t get stuck in the maze.
Get up and keep moving forward.
Start where you’re at.”
– Dusty Williams
Be okay with being under construction…its only in development where we are reminded of our desperate need for our heavenly Father, our hunger for His voice, and the desire to be more like Him.