one of those days

December 19, 2011

My best friend is moving. My confidant, my sister, my  “knows exactly what I am thinking just by looking at my face bestie” is moving away next week. I’ve ugly cried A LOT today, and a lot lately. No one can fill her shoes, no one can replace this person, but in the midst of me being sad I’ve learned a couple things —- and because I promised myself this year I’d blog with total honestly I thought I’d share what I’ve learned and what I am still learning. Not sure if it will help anyone but I feel compelled to share it…

1. God has not called me to success or promised me comfort — He has called me to obedience. No matter what I am feeling, my life should still reflect Him in everything I do and say. This has been especially difficult since I wear my heart on my sleeve and want to crawl into a ball a cry and shout, “this is not fair” at the heavens. Life was never meant to be fair, the only thing promised is that through my Life He would walk along side me and give me peace through all the changes 2011 has brought.

2. Surrender has no gray area. I’ve always found peace in knowing what my future would look like…my dreams, my goals, my agenda. Going into 2012 I am at a total loss at what my future looks like, the God Dream, the God goal, the God agenda. ( *deep breathe ) But sometimes that is exactly where God needs you to be. Surrendered of all we are so He can work through us. I have found this to be true in my life…it’s a scary place be — The Unknown. But at least I am not alone in this season of uncertainty.

3. God is still God. Whether I fail this season, whether I succeed in this season — God and the goodness of all He is remains true. That is where I find my peace. I am thankful that even though I am in a boat and the storm is EPIC, I know he is in the boat with me. I will have faith that when the time comes he will stop the storm. Till then I will remain faithful, I will remain on my knees in surrender, because God is still God and I am forever his.

Coping,
Chari

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