Exile; the state of being barred from one’s native country, typically for political or punitive reasons.
My Grandmother lived most of her adult life in exile, she escaped from Cuba when she was 33. She lived most her life outside of the boundaries that orginally defined her. Even though something was literally stripped from her ( Her country, Her identity, all that she had known to be true and right and just ) she did not let that define the rest of her life. If anything she allowed Jesus to be the true definition of who she was and how she was going to live. As her life came to an end MANY came to celebrate her. Her service was packed with people! Packed! She had been a mother to many and her life story was a catalyst of change to those that allowed her story to become part of theirs. And as I spoke about her amazing legacy, the legacy that was cultivated entirely in exile I realized and began to internalize the lessons you’ve read in my the last three posts on Motherhood. ( If you have not read my last three posts I encourage you to do so )
Now as we near the year anniversary of the last time I held her in my arms I am finding myself in a state of peace and strength that I never thought I’d ever experience. See, the week that followed her passing I read a quote that has carried me through by Bill Johnson, “Peace that surpasses all understanding is only given to those who give up their right to understand.” And so that is exactly how I’ve chosen to live my life, in a constant state of surrendering my desire to understand the things I have had to walk through, the things I will never be able to comprehend on this side of heaven and the situations I am currently tackling.
If you are walking through loss of any kind whether its infertility or something else I encourage you to let go of what you feel and embrace the peace that is already inside you. I remember asking a friend to pray that God would give me peace to walk through this road and as quickly as I asked for that, the Holy Spirit whispered, ” you already have peace. I am the Prince of Peace and I am with you.” I am not saying that being okay and at peace with infertility is the goal, I am saying being at peace and truly understanding that Jesus is in control and STILL LORD of your life REGARDLESS of your current circumstance is the goal. The joy is set before you, look up! Don’t focus on the new land you have been forced to live in instead focus on the freedom that He has given you in the land. There is a new found Freedom HERE to focus on who HE is and all that HE is asking of you. Freedom to serve Him in a way others cannot. Exile is not a bad thing, its an everybody thing, and its where you are. WE ARE ALL IN EXILE, because ETERNITY is are end game. We were never meant to live in this brokenness. Eternity is where we are all meant to be. Your exile just looks like infertility on this side of eternity. Don’t let it define you, have peace, have joy, embrace your refugee status. Yes, I just said that! Embracing your season and status doesn’t mean you’ve lost hope, it just means that your hope is in Jesus and whatever you get to be or see or hold on this side of heaven is in His hands, and in His hands is where you want to be.
But blessed is the one who trusts in Me alone; the Eternal will be his confidence. He is like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots beside the stream. It does not fear the heat or even drought. Its leaves stay green and its fruit is dependable, no matter what it faces. – Jer. 17:7-8 ( the voice )
C’mon Jesus. That’s a good word, and that word is for someone! ( Cue the Bethel Dance and Streamers!! )