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Flowers

I love flowers.

You wouldn’t think it, but I do.

When I was a kid my grandmother would randomly stop on the side of the road and pick flowers. It didn’t even matter if it was stopping and clipping one from a strangers lawn — she would do it, and with no shame!! I am assuming this is what caused me to appreciate flowers. Now let me say I hate being outside, any kind of yard work and I DO NOT have a green thumb! Everything I plant dies…but the appreciation is there.

Today my friend Katie brought me flowers and a card to say congrats on my new job. They’re beautiful and the card moved me to tears. In the card she wrote ” You are rare and truly genuine…keep being you.” Honest Moment: I really struggle with being me. See I’m not super skinny, or well spoken, nor do I own a pair of white jeans. I make inappropriate jokes, and wish I could color my hair crazy colors. I spend WAY to much time working out the cuff on my jeans , I am high maintenance, and I will not use public restrooms if they’re filled with people. In short — I am a weirdo. But as I read her card I felt for the first time in a while OKAY with just being me.

I have this great job that I question daily if God got it right. Really Lord, me? Am I good enough, smart enough, capable enough? No I am not…But God has made me good enough, smart enough, and stretched me so far in the last season that I am capable enough. Sometimes we just need reminders that It’s God at work in us, and we just need to be empty enough and weird enough to accept that.

Thanks for my flowers Katie. It made my day.

Chari

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2 Comments

  1. Thanks for this post friend… the funny thing is that I think we ALL feel this way. We often alienate and criticize ourselves secretly when in reality everyone around us sees great beauty and individuality. It takes courage to not be like everyone else and OWN what God has entrusted us with, but inside we sometimes even despise being different. It’s the greatest strategy of the enemy… to make us feel alone and unaccepted when the rest of the world just wants to embrace and admire us. I’ve also felt his way most of my life. It’s an inexplicable freedom when we finally appreciate the beautiful mess that we are!

    I love you sis. Thanks for joining us together in your transparency and exposing the lies that keep us bound and alone. You are lovely:)

  2. I know how you feel, I am very down omyself a lot, and question sometimes how I got lucky in some ways. Wish I was more outspoken, well versed, and could be better at what I do. I am constantly looking for that closer relationship with God, To help release me from worry, depression, anxiety…

    But I have noticed he put me at Celebration for a reason, to slowly stretch me, to help me grow where I am now and to be a better person. And how he has put special people like you in my path to remind me of that.
    Chari you are one of a kind, so gifted in so many ways, and u definitely make me laugh every time I see you.
    You now have me hooked on these great lil blogs, of inspiration…reminders how God works in everyone’s life.

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