Being vulnerable is difficult. I find every time I divulge any aspect of my brokenness I immediately regret it. Last night I told a very close friend something that this morning I struggled with internally. Everything in my soul screamed “Oh man, I hope they don’t think less of me.” I know this is not the case but it doesn’t take that “I am buck-naked in front of people, somebody please hide me” feeling away.
As I struggled with this the Lord reminded me of the story in the Bible I frequently go to for encouragement – The Woman with the issue of Blood. She was broken, she was desperate, she was undone. She didn’t care in that moment what people thought of her condition or if she felt rejected, all she cared about was touching Jesus. The result of her pressing through the crowed MOVED Jesus in such a matter that he stopped amongst the crowd and searched out for who’d touched him. Even surrounded by people her desperation moved him , and she received her healing.
I was then reminded of what I read recently — [highlight]”Some things are only found by the desperate.”[/highlight] I want my life to be so transparent, and my heart to be so desperate for a touch from the living God that it moves him to ask where I am and what I need. If that takes feeling exposed ALL THE TIME then so be it. My life is not my own any way, do with it what you will Lord.
currently wearing red lipstick,